Sunday, May 29, 2011

Monster Movie of the Week: Alien VS Predator (2004)


ALIEN VS PREDATOR (2004)
Director: Paul Anderson
Genre: Sci-Fi/Survival Horror

THE MOVIE


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The AVP concept goes back to the 1980’s when Dark Horse comics created a series of cross-overs using both the Alien and Predator licenses (of which they had been running successful comics series). The original story was set around the time of the Alien movies on a distant colony planet. It established that the Predator race kept the Aliens in captivity to be unleashed on distant planets to be hunted as part of their coming of age rituals. In the original comic, a group of human colonists are caught in the middle of the struggle and a lone female colonist teams up with a surviving Predator to destroy the Alien menace.

This was a very cool and exciting combination in the late 1980’s and spawned a slew of similar concepts featuring unlikely comics cross-overs (such as Robocop Vs. Terminator, Batman Vs. Predator, Superman Vs. Aliens, etc) and fans wondered if we would ever see a movie of AVP. We got a tantalizing hint at the end of 1990’s Predator 2 which featured a nice easter egg in the form of a bleached Alien skull among the trophies on the Predator ship at the end of the movie. In the early 2000’s, with the Predator series dormant after its then only sequel and the Alien series having fizzled out with two financially unsuccessful movies, 20th Century Fox began to seriously consider doing a movie version of AVP.






They turned to Director Paul W.S. Anderson who had directed a number of hyperactive video game adaptations (Resident Evil, Mortal Kombat) that were popular with the Playstation crowd. This choice irritated a lot of people, particularly fans of the Alien movies who were used to a certain amount of respect for the material and visionary directors. Also, irritating to fanboys was the continuity-bending fact that the film was to be set on Earth in the present (probably for budgetary reasons), and that the movie was being produced with a PG-13 rating in mind. Therefore, the movie was panned by hardcore sci-fi fans as well as critics who don’t like it when titles are not prescreened for them. Critics are also dismissive of anything with the word “versus” in the title, bringing to their minds Godzilla movies (to which I ask, what’s wrong with that?) As far as the tone of the movie, Anderson seems to be emulating Ridley Scott’s cool and austere British horror style more than James Cameron’s balls-on-the-wall American action movie style (like Scott, Anderson is a Brit). This might be another reason American fanboys don’t appreciate this much underrated monster flick.

So, what’s the deal with AVP? The movie has a lot going against it. The Earth setting is kinda dumb and negates the fact that the characters in the Alien movies were all working to keep the aliens from getting to earth. The characters are mostly dull. I hate the Jurassic Park-y exposition. The movie is frustratingly underlit and so frenetically edited that it is hard to see what is going on sometimes. What the hell are Predators doing in the Antarctic? And why do the Aliens mature so fast? What’s up with the ridiculously literal production design on the ice pyramid, with hilarious Alien and Predator hieroglyphics?





On the other hand, for all his reputation as a hack director, Anderson is clearly a big fan of the Alien and Predator movies and his film is filled with loving visual references to both the movies and the original AVP comics, which was pleasantly surprising. His knowledge of the Alien series and sci-fi in general goes deeper than expected and much of the inspiration for the pyramid comes from discarded early story ideas and concept art from Alien and much of the story itself seems to have been inspired by H. P. Lovecraft’s “At The Mountains of Madness.” There are even references to the fun but silly theories of Ancient Astronauts as proposed by Erich von Daniken.

The idea of a human female survivor who is “branded” into the Predator clan comes straight from the original AVP comic series from Dark Horse. And while the idea of Alexa suiting up with make-shift Alien weapons doesn’t work that well on film I have to respect that they put it in. It’s ironic that a movie that is such a labor of fan love is so reviled by fanboys.






THE MONSTERS/EFFECTS

One of the main reasons that I enjoy this movie so much is the fact that Giger’s Aliens have never looked better than they do in this movie. The Aliens go back to a classic design that resembles the creatures from the first and third movie with the domed head and they are brought to life with a combination of life-sized hydraulic puppet and CGI and as far as I know, there is no suit acting in this movie at all. This gives us Aliens that are more skeletal and less anthropomorphic than they have been before.

As I stated above, the Aliens in this movie seem to go from implant to chestburster to adult in a matter of hours (or perhaps even less) which is pretty fast compared to the previous movies. It seems to me in 1979’s Alien, the creature matures “overnight.” In Alien 3, the time period seems to be a day or two. These both seem too fast when you think about it but in AVP it is ludicrously fast. One gets the unpleasant feeling that the established continuity has been fudged to serve the plot needs of this movie. My own nerdy theory is that since these Aliens have been bred by the Predators to serve a particular purpose, they may have been altered to mature faster than normal. After all, it would suck to be a Predator and arrive at the temple only to be able to fight a bunch of chestbursters.





The Alien queen also makes a truly spectacular comeback in this movie after her rather lame appearance in Alien Resurrection. Her intro as she is frozen and chained in the bowels of the Antarctic temple is extremely cool and very inspired by the first AVP comic where she is similarly restrained aboard a Predator ship. She looks much like she did in Aliens only bigger, more skeletal and without the built in stiletto heels. Unless I am mistaken, she is completely CGI in this movie.

Unfortunately, the Predators in this movie don’t come out so well. Unlike the very tall and lean actor/dancer Kevin Peter Hall who played the Predator in the original two movies, the new Predators are very big and muscled and wear bulkier armor which gives them a weird linebacker-y appearance. Their arms also seem too short for their bodies. They also seem to have crazy extreme sports versions of their signature weapons. Their wrist gauntlets are now about four times longer than ever before and the very cool smart disc from P2 has been reimagined as a crazy giant throwing star. But, I guess if you are hunting aliens you need different equipment than if you are hunting humans.




MOST MEMORABLE SEQUENCE

The battle against the Queen at the end of the movie. Look at her go!

HOME VIDEO AVAILABILITY

Widely available in a couple of different versions on DVD and Bluray. There is an unrated version which is not that much different than the theatrical cut.

SEQUELS

Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem, also enjoyable and a lot more graphic with a more American sensibility. If Anderson is trying to emulate Alien, then the directors of AVP:R are trying to emulate Aliens and Predator. You may enjoy one more than the other depending on your tastes.

Interestingly, Ridely Scott's Prometheus covers a lot of the same story beats as AVP and is thematically similar, possibly because Anderson is also exploring some of those discarded Alien ideas.  It's almost as if Scott dismissed this movie outright and didn't bother checking to see if his highbrow prequel was going to end up being thematically similar this cheap monster movie.

TRIVIA

James Cameron has apparently seen this movie and enjoyed it.

TRAILER






Patrick Garone
twitter.com/patrickgarone
www.patrickgarone.com
facebook.com/cityofthegodsnovel

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Candidates: Newt Gingrich


Nothing says The Future of the Republican Party like the guy who was Speaker of the House back in the 1990's. Newt Gingrich was a skillful politician and a great legislator but he would look like a relic running against President Obama, much like Bob Dole running against Bill Clinton in 1996. Not only is Gingrich politically past his prime, but he is also out of sync with the much more conservative electorate of 2011.

Many of his innovative policy ideas-such as free market health care reform with an individual mandate and Cap and Trade-have been adopted by Democrats and are now reviled by Republicans. If Mitt Romney is the father of "Obamacare," then Newt Gingrich is surely its grandpa and if I were Romney, I would be sure to out Gingrich and John Huntsman as closet individual mandate enthusiasts.

Also, it seems Newt is a little rusty from his time out of electoral politics. His campaign all-important roll-out was a complete disaster. Gingrich committed the unforgivable political sin of actually speaking his mind in calling Paul Ryan's budget "right wing social engineering." Of course, before you could begin possibly respecting the man, he began to backtrack under intense Republican criticism. Stories about his revolving $500,000 credit line at Tiffany's are also not helping him in a country in which many are still out of work.

Politics is Darwinian and the Newt Gingrich of 2011 is now in the process of adapting to his new hysterically conservative environment. Will he succeed or will this Newt go extinct? (Many Republicans will refuse to understand this metaphor). Based on the early weeks of his campaign, it looks like Gingrich will do the latter, although in 2007, John McCain's campaign was also in shambles. So there is still hope that Newt Gingrich can win the nomination and go on to loose to Barack Obama.

PROS: A genuinely intelligent politician, with a long record of service.

CONS: A lot of Republicans revile intelligence and a long record of service always has things that can be used against him in a campaign.

THE BOTTOM LINE: Gingrich's chances of winning the primary are slim and the general election even slimmer.

Separated at Birth #2


Ladies, how many times do I have to tell you? Please check your outfit before you leave the house to make sure you don't look like Spacegodzilla.

Separated At Birth #1


The wacky right wing governor of Arizona looks suspiciously like Terence Stamp in The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert. Have you ever seen them together?

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The (Possible) Candidates, Part 4: Michele Bachmann


With the implosion of the Trump "campaign," which had become a lightning rod for Crazy, there is now a vacuum in the GOP candidate field for someone to engage the swollen ranks of the unhinged far-right wing of the Republican Party, someone willing to look into their wild eyes and tell them with a straight face, "Yes, Barack Hussein Obama is trying to impose Socialist Sharia Death Panels on your family." It had seemed for a while that Sarah Palin was the one candidate who was careless and intellectually dishonest enough to get out in front of the most extreme elements of the GOP and tell them exactly what they want to hear, true or not, but the 2008 Vice Presidential nominee has become uncharacteristically thoughtful and indecisive of late. Meanwhile, Congresswoman Michele Bachmann has managed to become Palin 2.0, and seems ready to usurp the Queen Mama Grizzly and make her irrelevant.

Bachmann has been described as "Sarah Palin with a brain," which I don't think really tells you anything about her. Like Sarah Palin, she is a female conservative who has embraced a number of extreme positions. She is also close to the Christian conservative movement and has fully embraced the Tea Party, founding a Tea Party congressional caucus and even delivering an "official" Tea Party rebuttal to President Obama's last State of the Union Address. Unlike Sarah Palin, Bachmann has proven herself to have self-discipline and patience for long-term planning. She also has a fairly long record in congress and is more of a known quantity than the capricious former half-term governor of Alaska.

Should she get in the race, Michele Bachmann would be an exciting and appealing candidate for Republican primary voters, who tend to be more passionately conservative than general election voters. Particularly in the first caucus state of Iowa, which is dominated by evangelical voters, Bachmann could easily emerge as the anti-Romney favorite for which Republican voters seem to be searching. Among states in which the Tea Party and social conservatives hold sway, Bachmann could be a force in the Republican primary process.

In the general election, however, Bachmann would be a weak candidate. She holds some positions which are far out of step with mainstream American thinking, such as promoting the teaching of "intelligent design," the elimination of Social Security and Medicare, a ridiculously limited view of what is allowed under the U.S. Constitution, advocating nuclear strikes on Iran, and an emphasis on social issues such as gay marriage which are increasingly out-of-step with voters. During a campaign, it would be incredibly easy to paint Michele Bachmann as a right wing nut-job.

Bachmann's notorious habit of twisting the truth and making up "facts" would not serve her well with the increased scrutiny she would get as a national candidate. She is also a regular member of the shrill and hysterical chorus of Republicans which constantly engages in petty attacks on President Obama at the slightest opportunity. As a candidate, Bachmann may have difficulty separating herself from the GOP attack machine and projecting a dignified, Presidential image.

Like other outspoken female conservatives, Bachmann is viewed somewhat suspiciously by the male-dominated Republican establishment. Her decision to "go roguer" and deliver her own State of the Union response reportedly did not sit well with Speaker Boehner and other GOP leaders. There have also been reports of tensions between Bachmann and the caucus regarding committee assignments but she remains popular with the very powerful Tea Party movement, which means that Republicans treat her like Billy Mumy from the classic "It's a Good Life" episode of The Twilight Zone. "What's that, Michele? You gave your own State of the Union Response without co-coordinating with anyone? And you were looking in the wrong camera for the whole address? It's good that you did that! Good!"

Until a serious and powerful Margaret Thatcher or Hillary Clinton figure emerges within the GOP, Republican womanhood is doomed to be dominated by sideshow performers like Palin, Bachmann, Sharon Angle, and Christine O'Donnell. This is despite successful but low key politicians like Olympia Snow, Susan Collins, and Lisa Murkowski, who are often attacked as moderates and pushed aside in the party (Murkowski had to run as an independent only to win her seat and re-caucus with the Republicans, after receiving no support from them). So if you are a woman and a Republican, either get your crazy on, or get to the back of the bus.

THE BOTTOM LINE

PROS:

Might actually be able to win the nomination. Strong connections with both the Tea Party and social conservatives can propel her far into the race. Also, a surprisingly good fundraiser.

CONS:

Not the preferred candidate of the Republican establishment, seen as hard to control, erratic, unprofessional. Would certainly loose to President Obama.

However, if the Republicans want to put forth an ideologically pure Tea Party sacrificial lamb for their nominee, they could hardly do any better. In fact, if one wanted to get rid of the Tea Party all together, a Bachmann 2012 campaign would be a great way to exorcise that particular demon.

WHO SHOULD PLAY HER IN A BIOPIC: Deborah Messing.

TRIVIA: Michele Bachmann is writing a book. She's cutting letters out of magazines and pasting them into the manuscript as you read this.


Patrick Garone
twitter.com/patrickgarone
facebook.com/cityofthegodsnovel
www.patrickgarone.com

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Monster Movie of the Week: Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah


GODZILLA VS KING GHIDORAH
Director: Kazuki Omori
Genre: Kaiju eiga

THE MOVIE

It's strange that after all of King Ghidorah's appearances in the Showa movies, it wasn't until 1991 that there was a movie released called Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah. But that certainly isn't all that's notable about this movie. GVK remains one of the least seen of the series and wasn't even released on home video until 1998, when most of the Godzilla catalogue was put out on DVD in anticipation of the American remake. GVK also features a truly loopy time travel plot and is the only movie to date to give Godzilla a real origin story (even King Ghidorah is given one, in a departure from his usual space monster origin). If that wasn't enough going on, it also is the sole appearance of Mecha King Ghidorah.


The Heisei Godzilla movies feature a relatively tight continuity, and GVK serves as a sequel to Godzilla VS Biollante. Godzilla recuperates from his brush with the giant plant monster and the anti-radioactive bacteria used against him when a strange craft appears over Japan. It turns out the craft is from the Earth's future and its occupants (two Westerners, a Japanese woman and an android) offer to help Japan eliminate Godzilla because, they warn, in the future, Japan is a desolate nuclear wasteland due to the monster's attacks. They offer to travel back to Godzilla's origins in World War II, to prevent the beast from ever being created.

These Futurians, a Japanese author, and psychic Miki Saegusa (introduced in Biollante and a mainstay of the 1990's movies) travel back to 1944 during the Pacific campaign of World War II, in which a Japanese platoon is attacked by American soldiers but rescued by a rampaging dinosaur relic, a "Godzillasaurus" and the creature that will become the King of the Monsters after being exposed to American nuclear testing. The Futurians abduct the wounded dinosaur and bring it back to the present, thus insuring that it will not become Godzilla. However, they do leave behind three golden chirping creatures in its place...

It turns out that the Futurians wanted to remove Godzilla from the equation so that their own monster, now formed into King Ghidorah could take its place and destroy Japan. In their future, Japan is the dominant country on Earth even more powerful than the U.S., China and Russia and this mission is to prevent Japan's ascendancy. Now, I'm not sure why the Japanese woman wanted to go along with it, but whatever.

However, the Godzillasaurus is mutated by a Russian nuclear sub, resulting in the creation of Godzilla, who battles and defeats both Ghidorah and the UFO. The Japanese Futurian returns from the future with a cyborg version of King Ghidorah, with which to defend Japan from Godzilla. Although, Mecha King Ghidorah fails to defeat Godzilla, it does lead him into the sea and away from Japan.

So, you can see that still-complicated summary that Godzilla VS King Ghidorah has a pretty weird and convoluted plot, which is one of the reasons that it is one of my favorite Godzilla movies. I like to think of it as the Back to the Future II of the Godzilla series. It has the best story out any movie of the series, although it is not necessarily executed very well.

GVK is also the most controversial Godzilla movie, due to the sequence that is set in World War II and features the Godzillasaurus violently attacking American troops. It is a discordant reminder that despite the often cozy post war relationship between the two countries, the US and Japan were bitter enemies at one point. It is also a little distasteful to juxtapose a fantasy monster sequence with the human loss and suffering of WWII. For this reason, it took quite a long time to release the movie in the US. However, GVK does solidify Godzilla's relationship to the war which culminates in the great 2003 movie Godzilla, Mothra, King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All Out Attack in which Godzilla is literally an embodiment of the war dead

Godzilla has always had a complicated relationship to World War II. In the original 1954 movie, his rampage is an obvious allegory for the destruction visited upon Japan by the two atomic bombs which ended the war. And while the monster's creation is almost always caused by US atomic testing, over and over again, Godzilla terrorizes Japan in a kind of cinematic self flagellation. He doesn't destroy Los Angeles or San Francisco, he makes it his mission to punish the Japanese. Going from an a brutal military power that is deeply despised in the region to a nation that was humiliatingly defeated in a rain of atomic Hellfire, to a largely peaceful prosperous people is a dizzying journey to take in a lifetime and, in their own way, the Godzilla movies document and comment on that journey.



Godzilla VS King Ghidorah came at a time of relative tension between the U.S. and Japan as it was the height of Japan's economic surge. People in the States were wary of the country's power (much the way that they are now with the growth of China). In the movies, this discomfort manifested itself with subtle and not subtle barbs toward the Japanese. In popular culture in the 1980's and 1990's the Japanese were usually depicted as drone-like businessmen working for monolithic corporations with a laser-like focus for buying everything in sight and speaking in sinister Engrish ("Whay-ah is Rutenent Liprey?). More often than not, they served as stern bosses to American characters.

Godzilla VS King Ghidorah
feels like part of the other side of that conversation, with the movie's entire plot revolving around jealous foreigners attempting to thwart Japan's glorious future. The scenes in which Japanese soldiers honor the giant dinosaur that saved them from the Americans, is particularly interesting since Godzilla is a such an icon of Japanese popular culture. In a very superficial way, it is as though the Japanese were able redeem a bit of their wartime past using one of their most potent post-war symbols.


THE MONSTERS/EFFECTS

We get one of the better Godzilla suits in this movie and it is a slight evolution of the Biollante version of the character. The Heisei version of the character is beloved by fans and this is one of his better looks. The Godzillasaurus, however, leaves a lot to be desired and is rather awkward. Remember, this was a few years before Jurassic Park when dinosaurs were usually realized as puppets or anamatronics.

This movie features the first appearance by Ghidorah since the 1970's and for the most part, the King looks pretty good, although the flying sequences are pretty weak. Mecha-King Ghidorah is a pretty cool creation (his whole middle neck and head are mechanical) and in the Heisei continuity, he serves as the basis for that version of Mechagodzilla.

While the monster effects in the movie are quite good, anything else is pretty awful. The android character tries really hard to be be Terminator but both the acting is awful and he is the center piece of some truly terrible special effects.

MOST MEMORABLE SEQUENCE

I really like the WWII scenes for their cultural subtext and for making the connection between Godzilla and the war more explicit than it had ever been.

HOME VIDEO AVAILABILITY

As part of a two pack DVD with Godzilla VS Mothra: The Battle For Earth.

TRAILER




Patrick Garone
www.patrickgarone.com
twitter.com/patrickgarone
facebook.com/cityofthegodsnovel

Friday, May 6, 2011

Addressing the Book

There has been a lot of digital ink flowing about digital versus traditional books. As a reader, I have spent the last few months enjoying some eBooks using the Kindle app on my iPad but am now diving back into some paper books. Meanwhile as a writer, I am enjoying the process of adding "bonus features" and annotating my own novel, City of the Gods: The Return of Quetzalcoatl to create a richer and more interactive experience for its readers.

Once in a while, I like to revisit some of my favorite books and I recently started rereading Michael Crichton's Jurassic Park. I was tempted to pick it up as an eBook but it turns out it is not available in digital format so I am am now reading an old hardcover. It is a novel that I discovered as a teen and one of which I have very vivid sensory memories associated with the first time that I cracked it open:

CUE FLASHBACK EFFECT

It was a beautiful summer day in 1991. I had gone to visit a high school friend but he wasn't at home (this was in an age before cellphones, in which you often had to "call ahead" or simply drop in to visit someone). It was the summer vacation and I was still a kid with hours to fill but, fortunately, I did have a brand-new paperback of Jurassic Park.

I wandered around for a while, looking for a good reading spot and found myself on the campus of nearby Northeastern Illinois University. I discovered a secluded nook in the shadow of the rambling mid-Twentieth Century monstrosity that is the NEIU Science Building. I sat in a patch of bare earth where the lawn had retreated from the building in an apparent act of sensibility and good taste.

I pulled the novel out and regarded it. I always do this. I call it "Addressing the Book," because sometimes it's okay to judge a book by its cover. This one was a mass-market paperback, probably bought off the rack at my local Osco drugstore. The author's name was prominent on the cover in raised letters, as was the black silhouette of a Tyrannosaur skull, all of which gave slightly when you pushed in on them but then popped back into shape satisfyingly. The bright white background gleamed in the sunlight which filtered in through the trees.

I cracked the book open and flipped through the first few pages of publication information and acknowledgments. I sat there for hours, my fingers caressing the dry pages and my oily teenage fingers sticking to the sleek plasticized cover, now forever curled from my repeated attempts to bend it back in order to get deeper in the book . My right thumb rested on the rough edges of the Pages to be Read, as their numbers slowly diminished. The gentle fwoosh and crackle of the turning pages created a hypnotic rhythm conducive to a long transportive session of reading.

END FLASHBACK

Some people just do not like the idea of reading from an electronic device. There is a sensuality and a romance to traditional books that simply cannot be replicated on an eBook reader. A Kindle or iPad is just not as "cuddly" as a nice hardcover or paperback. We've had thousands of years to get used to the idea of a paper book and we bring them everywhere, even our beds and bathrooms. I concede that the act of reading from a device is less tactile and intimate but eBooks do offer an impressive range of features that make them appealing in their own right.

While they have clear advantages in weight and flexibility, eBooks really outshine traditional books in their interactive and embedded reference features. My novel City of the Gods is a science fiction/fantasy story that is set in and around Mexico City and is heavily based on Mexican history and Mesoamerican mythology. It features all kinds of references with which many readers will not be familiar. The standard paperback version of the book addresses this with a traditional glossary (as does the digital version) but with eBook technology, readers can highlight any unfamiliar word in the text and do either a dictionary, Google, or Wikipedia search.

Say you are reading City of the Gods and you come across a reference to the old Aztec capital of Tenochtitlan. Contextually, you will know what it is from the book but if you want to know more you can highlight the word and do a Google search and see something like this. Or get even more information via Wikipedia. Gone are the days when you get only a vague contextual meaning of a reference or have to write yourself a note to look it up later. With a good eBook reader, you can look it all up from right inside the book in a nearly seamless action.

In our Wiki-fied age, the applications for this technology are only beginning to be employed. This is particularly of note to readers of genre fiction in which often feature sprawling complex worlds. How great would it be to dive into the eBook of the latest Star Wars novel with a built-in ability to reference the wonderful and very complete Wookiepedia reference site where you can see what the hell a Trandoshan looks like, in case you have forgotten.

Back in the 1990's, author Kathrine Ramsland published a pair of comprehensive guides to the popular Vampire and Witch novels of Anne Rice. There were two very big and heavy reference books, one for each of these series. Today, the traditional encyclopedia and its spin-offs are effectively dead and big expensive reference books like these would never be published. After all, this information is all easily obtainable and free online. But imagine if these guides were actually embedded into the novels themselves and constantly updateable. No more having to switch between books or worry about rebuying the latest edition. Other long and complex multi-book series like Stephen King's Dark Tower books or The Lord of the Rings series would also certainly benefit from this kind of reference technology.

Readers and authors are now able to share their own notes and comments in eBooks. I am now in the process of annotating City of the Gods with select background information about the book's development, inspirations, and themes, which will be in the vein of the kinds of "Director's Commentaries" now popular on DVDs and Blurays. It will be meant to reward and enrich a second reading of the book and even encourage a kind of dialogue between author and reader about books and writing.

For this reason alone, I think that the eBook is the superior version of City of the Gods, wherever you decide to read it. And, while it may not offer the same sensual experience as the paperback version, you can always light some candles, pop in your earbuds and play some nice music. It will take you away. I promise.


Patrick Garone
www.patrickgarone.com
twitter.com/patrickgarone
facebook.com/cityofthegodsnovel

Thursday, May 5, 2011

News Attention Deficit Disorder

All of this Osama business is really cutting into my news about Donald Trump and Birtherism. And what about Charlie Sheen? If we stop paying attention to him, he might just go away. I know no one wants that.

You remember about that nuclear disaster in Japan? It's still happening. And there is still that revolution/civil war thing happening in Libya. Speaking of revolutions, how are things going in Egypt? I know, it's an oldie but a goodie.

If you are in Haiti and still living in a tent in a "temporary" camp, you can forget about any continuing in depth coverage. Haiti is sooo 2010.