Game of Thrones and the book series on which it is based, A Song of Ice and Fire, have a complicated relationship with its women characters and the larger question of sexual consent which has been been moving to the forefront of American society in recent years. In its depiction of a realistic quasi-medieval society, Game of Thrones has often presented some troubling images and plots, whether it is the disproportional amount of female nudity or the constant threat of sexual assault to many of its female characters (and the occasional male). This came to head last season with a depiction of ambiguously consensual sex between incestuous lovers Jamie and Cercei Lannister, and this season with the rape of Sansa Stark. In a show known for shocking incidents of violence and sadism, many have publicly wondered if the series had gone too far in depicting sexual violence against women and what, if anything useful the show has to say about this theme.
The main conceit of George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire is that it takes the trappings of fantasy literature and grounds them into a realistic setting, twisting your expectations of the genre. Popular fantasy literature has a strong bent towards wish fulfillment, steeped in imagined worlds of chivalry, castles, dragons, and damsels in distress. Ironically, this sort of fantasy literature is even present in the world of the books and show. In his books, Martin has created a rich fantasy setting that is informed by the forces active in our own reality and history. His imagined continent of Westeros has been forged by cross-cultural conflict, feudal economics, sexism, exploitation, and class warfare. It is a fully realized fantasy setting in which you wouldn't necessarily want to live. It has value in that it reflects and comments on our history and present, no matter how disturbing or ugly.
Largely, women in fantasy have either been absent or have been rescue-bait as in the prototypical fantasy novels of J. R. R. Tolkien. For example, when adapting The Hobbit into a movie trilogy Peter Jackson actually had to create a character so that his story could feature a female role. To his credit, George R. R. Martin has created many compelling female protagonists who are central to his story. This is even more true of the TV series, which has further developed ancillary parts like Margaery and Brienne. Unfortunately, these female characters are living in the same brutal world as the males and are in almost constant danger of sexual violence. While unpleasant, this true to the brutal world that he has created, one which is informed by our own. To somehow protect the female characters or to push the ugliness "offscreen" or to somehow grant them a protection that the others do not have would be doing them a disservice and ruin the integrity of this created world, who's whole reason to be is that it provides a gritty alternative to conventional fantasy.
Many people were outraged this season about the rape of Sansa Stark, which, while genuinely upsetting was (thankfully) not actually shown. The rape of Sansa Stark by Ramsey Bolton was horrible but, let's be honest, it was not even the worst thing that Ramsey has done on the show. This is a typically brutal and upsetting scene but given Sansa's storyline this season was almost inevitable. Bringing Sansa back to Winterfell is a change from the books but one that potentially offers a more rewarding storyline for her than the one in the books, which has had her idling endlessly in the Eyrie. Hopefully, that awful scene will be worth it.
The more I think about it, the idea of female sexual and marital consent is a central theme in Game of Thrones. The show and the novels constantly come back to this idea and I would go as far as to say that it is the secret force that propels the story forward. In a world in which daughters are used by powerful feudal lords as a commodity in which to build alliances, almost all of the female characters have been shaped by their experiences with this patriarchal trade system. Cercei Lannister was forced by her father to marry the boorish King Robert and she spent years in a miserable marriage that helped turn her into a twisted bitter creature. Her anger and resentment at being forced into that relationship has fueled many of the events in the book series. Queen Margaery, on the other hand, has embraced this system and seems determined to use it to her advantage having survived (so far) three incompatible husbands in her quest to be queen. Early on, Sansa Stark was willingly betrothed to the awful King Joffrey, then married off to his uncle against her will, and now (on the TV series, at least) is married to the psychotic Ramsey Bolton (although she married him as part of some vague plan for revenge). Daenerys Targaryen is literally married off to a barbarian warlord as part of a scheme for her brother to gain an army.
When these marriage deals have gone bad, they have had bloody consequences. Robb Stark's backing out of his marriage commitment to the Freys led to his own death and that of his bride, mother, and the decimation of his military forces. Olenna Tyrell's disgust at the prospect of her granddaughter Margery's marriage to the monstrous Joffrey resulted in a king's murder. As we all know, weddings on Game of Thrones are a violent business.
Even the series' most functional and loving relationship, that between Ned Stark and Catelyn Tully started out as an arranged marriage between Catelyn and Ned's brother, Brandon. When Brandon was killed, their parents simply swapped in the next brother. Catelyn didn't love him but it wasn't her choice to make. Other characters like Arya and Brienne have managed to escape this system.
There is another woman who was willing to defy this system and who's choices actually shaped the entire landscape of Westeros: Lyanna Stark. Lyanna is the deceased sister of Ned Stark. Ned thinks about her constantly in the first book. Her importance is such, that she has even made the cut to be repeatedly mentioned on the TV show while other major characters and plots have been excised entirely.
Lyanna was betrothed to Robert Baratheon in one of those arranged marriages but was loved by the Targaryen heir, Rhaegar (Daenerys' eldest brother). It is commonly believed in Westeros that she was abducted and raped by Rhaegar. This is certainly the point-of-view that King Robert expresses in both the show and books. However, sprinkled throughout the books and even the show are other clues. For example, Daenarys describes her brother has having died for "the woman he loved." Others describe Rhaegar's gentleness and nobility and generally hold him in very high esteem.
Although Robert was deeply in love with Lyanna, she (correctly) held doubts about his character and his ability to be a good husband. Reading the clues in the first A Song of Ice and Fire book, it seems as though Lyanna had made up her mind and rejected him. As far as I can tell, this is quite unprecedented among nobles in Westeros. It certainly speaks to Lyanna being a strong and willful character, maybe a bit like her niece Arya (whom she is often said to resemble). If this is the case, she apparently never communicated her choice to Robert, who fourteen years later is still under the impression that they were in love and that she was abducted. Robert even grumbles about her having been buried in the Winterfell crypt instead of where he thought she should be buried. But would there have been any point in telling Robert? Would he have honored her choice? It is also indicated that her father was insistent on the match. Short of running off, there would have been no way for Lyanna's choice to have been honored.
Lyanna's relationship with Rhaegar had massive consequences for Westeros. It was her "abduction" (as well as the killing of Rickard and Brandon Stark) which finally spurred the forces of the North to move against the Targaryens. Remember, this conflict is remembered as Robert's Rebellion and Robert Baratheon was personally motivated to destroy the Targaryens (a project which still consumed him 14 years later, in fact this is the only matter of state which he is seen personally working on in either the show or book). Robert met and killed Rhaegar on the battlefield. Later, Ned tracked his sister to the Tower of Joy in Dorne where she was being defended by members of the Kingsguard. When he finally made his way to her she was dying in a "bed of blood" and she elicited an unknown promise from him.
So, Lyanna Stark's revolutionary choice shaped the world of Westeros. Ironically, Westerosi society is so sexist that most people cannot even conceive that this is what happened, instead choosing to believe, like Robert, that Lyanna Stark was simply a thing to be stolen, an object with no agency of her own instead of a woman with her own choices to make. Unfortunately, Lyanna Stark's courage and defiance of Westeros' patriarchal system is a secret and her only legacy is a woman-shaped tomb in the Winterfell crypts.
