SHARKTOPUS (2011) Directed by Declan O'Brien Genre: Sharktopus
THE MOVIE
Okay, so I have judiciously avoided doing SyFy Original Movies on Monster Movie of the Week because, well, even I have standards. SyFy movies are usually cheapo B monster movies made with an eye towards camp. Movies like Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus and Chupacabra: Dark Skies are the monster movie equivalent of cheap porn (and likely use many of the same actors).
In the last few years, SyFy has been experimenting with splicing different deadly animals together to make the most dangerous, yet ridiculous monsters ever seen. Movies like Dinocroc and Dinoshark show the dangers of scientists and network executives toying with the natural order of things. And, while I could ignore the above movies, the monstrous combination of a shark and octopus was simply too alluring to miss. Sharktopus features the most absurd, yet compelling movie monster I have seen in a very long time.
An offer I can't refuse.
The Sharktopus monster is a product of a Navy experiment to create a combat organism...For Some Reason. When Shartopus' control collar is dislodged during it's first mission its handlers loose control of the beast, and it begins terrorizing the Mexican coast around Puerto Vallarta. Soon, there is a race to stop it between an American ex-pat and his crew and the monster's creators who want to capture it alive because, well, sharktopi ain't free. The head evil scientist is played by Eric Roberts, who's career made a loud whistling noise when he went from The Dark Knight to this movie.
THE MONSTER
So, it's a big-ass shark, but where the tail would be, are tentacles.That's Sharktopus in a nutshell. (Warning: If you encounter a Sharktopus hiding in a nutshell, run and get help.) In addition to the ridiculous/awesome creature design, Sharktopus is also able to use its tentacles to climb and grab and do all kinds of cool stuff, like come on land and mess up your day. The only thing that would have made him cooler, would be if he had little shark faces on the ends of his tentacles with which to bite people, instead of stabbing instruments. I guess someone at SyFy decided to show some restraint fairly late in the game.
Sharktopus, attempting to jump itself.
As you would expect if you have seen any of the other SyFy monster movies, the effects are not Hollywood feature quality and as you can see, Sharktopus does look a little like CGI plastic. Some people have said that the Sharktopus looks fake. Those people are missing the point. Where the effects are actually quite good is in the creatures animation. Sharktopus casts a unique and cool silhouette and its way of propelling itself forward in the water by whipping its tentacles behind it is strange and elegant. What makes this such a great movie monster is Sharktopus is literally like nothing you've ever seen.
Sharktopus came here to chew people and kick ass. And he's all out of people.
HOME VIDEO AVAILABILITY
Sharktopus is available on DVD and Bluray.
MOST MEMORABLE SEQUENCE
Anything involving said Sharktopus.
TRAILER
Patrick Garone www.patrickgarone.com twitter.com/patrickgarone facebook.com/cityofthegodsnovel
Unfortunately, we have a limited, two-party system in this country and both political parties (neither of which is mentioned in the Constitution) have an out-sized role in safeguarding our democracy. It is in America's best interests to have both organizations be strong and healthy. However, the GOP has been in a dysfunctional downward spiral since the '06 elections. 2012 looks to be the year in which the Republican Party is stuck making some difficult choices about what it is going to be, which is sure to infuriate part of the loose coalition on interests of which it is made.
After the Republican party's great defeat in 2006, the sensible thing would have been to go away somewhere and figure out how to reinvent itself for the new century, in which it was confronted with a decreasingly socially conservative and more ethnically diverse electorate. Instead, the GOP floundered and fell back on the stale issues and talking points that had served it so well in the past. In 2008, the party was faced with another defeat. Instead of taking this second consecutive loss as a public rebuke of their excesses over the previous eight years and a sign that they should actually work with the new president to get things done, the Republican leadership retreated to the sanctuary of Fox News (which loves them unconditionally, even when voters don't) and decided to double down on their unpopular policies and made their stated focus to deny Barack Obama a second term.
With the rise of the Tea Party movement, which is comprised of a mix of serious Libertarians concerned about debt and adherence to the Constituion and a very vocal minority of birthers, xenophobes and whackjobs, the Republican Party found a form of life support. Thankfully, they wouldn't have to do the hard work of rebuilding their party and they could still use many of their old talking points (Tax cuts!). The Tea Party fueled in an epic blowout election in 2010 in which Republicans won a historic victory in the House of Representative but were thwarted in the Senate (which has a lower tolerance for cray-cray).
But it is a marriage of convenience, as many of the Tea Party politicians have proven difficult to manage and have, so far, been principled about keeping their campaign promises to their feisty and watchful electorate. Ultimately, the Tea Partiers know that that the Republican party needs them much more than they need the Republican, which puts the party in a difficult position going into next election cycle.
The problem that the party had in their 2010 Senate races and that they have in the 2012 presidential race, is that the candidates who are most likely to prove that they are conservative enough to win primaries are not the candidates who could win general elections. The Republicans have what can be generously called a motley and imperfect pool of presidential candidates, which Bob Cesca referred to as "the Cantina aliens from Star Wars." At present, it looks like even the most electable of them-Jon Huntsman, Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee-would at best give Obama a close race. Of those three, only Huckabee would have a relatively easy time winning the nomination-and he may not even run. The first two would prove highly distasteful to the Tea Party which is likely to dominate primaries and caucuses.
I see three possible scenarios. First, Mitt Romney manages to squeak through enough primary victories in 2nd or 3rd place to secure the nomination, and the Tea Party revolts and either stays home on election day or runs as a thrid party candidate. Or, someone like a Michelle Bachmann ends up becoming a Pyrrhic candidate or the political version of a human sacrifice to the Tea Party. Or, lastly, it works out that a non-entity such as Tim Pawlenty emerges as a consensus candidate. Either way, it is likely that the Republicans have spent all of their capital during the 2010 elections and President Obama will be re-elected, possibly by a large margin if one of the weaker candidates ends up with the nomination. No doubt this will cause much needed finger-pointing and recrimination. One way or the other, in 2012 people are going to look at President Obama and see, despite his flaws, that he is the best that both parties have to offer,which is what elections are all about. Either way, the Republican Party is going to have to deal with the fact that it is not on a sustainable path. After what will be three shellackings within ten years, they are going to have to adapt or become an obsolete political party.
Patrick Garone www.patrickgarone.com twitter.com/patrickgarone facebook.com/cityofthegodsnovel
Fans of kaiju movies generally don’t have a lot to look forward to.Godzilla is retired for another five to ten years, with another American remake on the way.The status of the Gamera series is not known.We tend to have to make due with movies that have some kaiju elements like The Host or Transformers, or the Korean movie D-Wars. Once in a while, we'll get a Cloverfieldor Pacific Rim but most actual kaiju movies are few and far between. That’s why Negadon: The Monster from Mars is such a nice and unexpected treat.
Negadon is a twenty-five minute short film that is little more than an exercise in kaiju action.But that’s a good thing, right?Although it is a CGI movie from 2005, the film goes out of its way to present a retrofuturistic setting that would have been at home in one of Toho’s movies from the 1960’s or 1970’s.
The narrative is short and sweet.It is the future and man is exploring Mars.A ship brings back a mysterious Mars boulder, which escapes and destroys the ship over Japan, unleashing a giant floating monster, the titular Negadon.Meanwhile a scientist laments the loss of his daughter who was killed in an accident involving the giant robot he had invented.Although he swore never to reactivate the robot, he pilots it in combat against Negadon.
Something tells me Negadon may be the future of kaiju movies, which are becoming increasingly unprofitable in Japan.As CGI becomes cheaper to use we may eventually see entirely CGI Godzilla movies, which would be both bad and good.Bad because we would lose the wonderful artistry that goes into building the sets and monster suits but good because the creatures would no longer be constrained by the technology used to realize them.Either way, despite its shortness and relative obscurity, Negadon: The Monster from Mars may end up being a very important film in the history of monster movies.
THE MONSTER/EFFECTS:
I’m not a fan of the Negadon design, it’s a little too complex for my tastes.It almost looks like it could have come from one of the 90’s Gamera movies.However, I do like the design of Magara, the creature featured in the two micro-movies included as extras.Magara is wonderful firebreathing throwback to the classic Toho monsters.The director Jun Awazu has a wonderful grasp of the kaiju subgenre and I would love to see what he would if let loose on a franchise like Godzilla or Gamera.
MONSTERS FEATURED:
Negadon and the giant robot.
DVD AVAILABILITY:
Can be bought easily enough online but you probably won’t be able to find it at your local video store or even on Netflix.Incidently, the DVD has a couple of nice little micro movies even more in the style of classic kaiju film.
TRAILER:
Patrick Garone www.patrickgarone.com twitter.com/patrickgarone facebook.com/cityofthegodsnovel
1992’s Alien 3 is unloved here in the US but it was well appreciated and financially successful overseas and kindled talk of a fourth Alien movie.However, as many of you know, the ending of Alien 3 was, shall we say, final.It was designed as a way to close out the trilogy and to conclude the Ripley story arc in a dramatic and cathartic way.So what is a studio to do?Since your protagonist is dead, will you venture out and take the series in a new direction with brand new characters?Or will you find some cheap half-assed way to bring a dead character back?
Alien Resurrection features a clone of Ellen Ripley.And as cop-outs go, it is not quite, “It was all a dream” but it is still fairly lame.And I can’t help but feeling that it is a major diss to Alien 3, a movie that is badly flawed but has a lot more integrity than its successor.I think that the decision to do a retread movie and bring Ripley back as opposed to developing new characters and scenarios is one of the reasons that the series fizzled out and was ultimately replaced with the AVP movies and the upcoming prequel/spin-off/nothing-to-do-with-the-Alien-franchise Ridley Scott movie, Prometheus.
"Where's your precious Beetlejuice now?"
THE MOVIE
All of that being said, Alien Resurrection is not a terrible movie. In an attempt to keep the series fresh and in keeping with the franchises history of being a showcase for talented directors, the producers brought in French director Jean-Pierre Jeunet, famous for his surrealist movies such as a City of Lost Children and Delicatessen.French directors were very hot back in the 1990’s with the films of Jeunet, Christopher Gans and Luc Besson finding audiences here in the states.Besson’s movies The Professional and The Fifth Element gave fresh Euro spins to well-worn American genres.No doubt the producers of the last Alien film were hoping for Jeunet to give the film a similar feel and he gives Resurrection a Gallic style and quirkiness that sometimes works but often doesn’t.Jeunet’s direction also frequently butts heads with the film’s other major raison d’etre: to recapture the ass-kicking action feel of James Cameron’s Aliens.
Alien Resurrection picks up 200 years after Alien 3 (so, The Future + 200 years) in which military scientists on a remote space station use blood samples from Ellen Ripley to clone her and the alien queen she was carrying at the end of the last movie.Um, okay.That’s same shaky science but okay. It turns out that there is some DNA crossover and this new Ripley has some alien characteristics and vice versa.The film also tries way too hard to make the Ripley clone into a badass:she fights, she shoots hoops, she says “fuck” a lot.This is one of the movies inept attempts to pander to what the producers think is the type of fan that really liked Aliens.
Alien Resurrection is rated R for frequent caressing.
Meanwhile the scientists have arranged to purchase abducted human beings in hypersleep from a group of smugglers that include a mysterious young woman named Call.This macabre storyline is the best part of the movie and makes for some cool imagery and recalls the many great Dark Horse Aliens comics of the time.The idea of these twisted scientists smuggling comatose human beings to breed aliens is dark and cool and it makes you wonder what Joss Whedon’s original Ripley-free script was like.
The smugglers dock with the station and encounter Ripley.Call sneaks into Ripley’s cell and tries to kill her revealing that she has come to prevent the aliens from being bred but is too late.Ultimately the aliens escape and Ripley must lead the dwindling group of military survivors and smugglers off the station.She is kidnapped by the Aliens and taken back to their nest (after apparently making out with one of them!?) where we learn that something is very wrong with these Aliens (this dysfunctional nest and the “mad scientist” type character seems to be a reference to the wonderful “Aliens: Labyrinth” comic).Ripley’s human DNA has infected the hive and the Queen lays prone and gives birth to a live Hybrid creature.After some additional caressing (what is up with the French?) the Ripley clone attempts to escape the doomed ship.
Sad Skeletor.
THE MONSTERS/EFFECTS
This movie features the usual suspects.The alien drone is slightly redesigned (nothing revolutionary) in light of its newfound ability to swim.Again the color scheme is browner and more roach-like than the first two movies.The Queen is featured…well only her head actually.Unfortunately we don’t get any good Queen action in this movie and she gets bitch slapped to death, which is sad.
The “star” creature is the Hybrid, which leaves a lot to be desired, with its pasty skin, sad eyes, potbelly and nasal nub.I’ve heard rumors that the creature was originally designed with a penis (or vagina or some combination thereof) that was digitally removed in post-production.Call me a perv, but I want to see this.
The effects in this movie are somewhat marred by some shoddy CGI, which is too bad because this marks the first use of digital effects on these creatures.Unfortunately the aliens end up looking like Playstation characters in these scenes.This is especially sad because of the high special effects bar raised by the previous movies in the series.
C'est tres francais.
MOST MEMORABLE SEQUENCE
The Ripley clone discovers the meaning of the number “8” tattooed on her arm when she stumbles across the horrific previous seven attempts to clone her.That’s good body horror right there!
SEQUELS
Sadly, no.Although the story is continued in some comic books from Dark Horse. This movie marks the chronological end of the Alien series, although it does continue in the form of the AVP prequels and whatever Prometheus turns out to be (seriously, what is the deal with that movie?).
HOME VIDEO AVAILABILITY
On its own or in the mammoth Alien Legacy DVD set.Or in the even more mammoth AVP set.The extras are nothing great and the extended version adds very little to the movie.
The movie was unceremoniously kicked out of the series for the “Alien Trilogy” DVD set that you can find around.What a burn.I guess that means that Alien 3 has been officially replaced as the redheaded stepchild of the series.
On Bluray, it is found in the wonderful Alien Anthology set, which, like the Legacy DVD set, features a slightly longer cut of the movie.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water...where no one can hear you scream.
MINORITY REPORT
A Latino almost survives the movie.Almost.Although the weird handicapped guy does survive.
TRIVIA
Believe it or not, Alien Resurrection is the most commercially successful of series in terms of global box office.
TRAILER
Patrick Garone www.patrickgarone.com twitter.com/patrickgarone facebook.com/cityofthegodsnovel
Anyone who follows movies knows that studios periodically jump on certain genres or storylines which often result in two similar but competing projects released around the same time.We had Armageddon and then we had Deep Impact.We had Rob Roy and then we had Braveheart.We had Priscilla Queen of the Desert and then we had To Wong Fu.Well in 1981 we had The Howling and then we had An American Werewolf in London both released within a few weeks of each other.Either one by itself would have been a revolutionary entry into the werewolf movie genre.Both were directed by young and talented horror directors and both employed make-up gurus to handle the effects.Werewolf was worked on by SFX legend Rob Baker,
An American Werewolf in London is also distinguished from its competitor by its droll British infused sense of humor and its Hammer-esque ambiance.It also gives us a unique lupine werewolf as opposed to the simian designs of past movies or even the men-with-wolf-heads as popularized by The Howling.Landis’ movie also features some very disturbing and surreal dream sequences (such as one in which Nazi wolf ghouls attack attack the protagonist’s Jewish suburban family.)
Plotwise, AAWIL is pretty typical werewolf stuff.The film even rather sneakily references the old Wolfman movie with Lon Chaney Jr.A pair of young Americans are backpacking in rural England and make it to a mysterious village on the moorswhere the people in the local pub (which features a large pentagram on the wall) seem to be hiding something.The boys are attacked by an animal, one is killed (but returns in some black-humored visions later in the movie) and one survives and is taken to London for care where he hits it off with his nurse.As we all know, once you survive a werewolf attack you become one yourself.
THE MONSTER EFFECTS
Like The Howling, this movie aims to push the envelope as far as visual effects in a werewolf movie goes.It also tries to limit the number of cutaways during the transformation sequence and much is done via animatronics and practical make-up to create the films almost tortuous transformation sequence.One has to admire the great artistry and ingenuity that went in to creating a sequence like this when now all we would need to do would be to create it in a computer.
The other notable SFX or design aspect of the movie is in the final representation of the creature itself, of which you get some good looks in the latter part of the movie.AAWIL gives us a werewolf that actually looks something like a wolf (well honestly it’s a little stocky for a wolf.I think it looks more like a wolverine.) This is harkens back to pre –Cinema ideas of what a werewolf should look like.After all, the whole idea of the European werewolf was that a man would turn into an actual wolf, not some creature that looks like a hybrid of the two, as is more common in the movies.
FAVORITE SEQUENCE
The best shot in the movie is actually the very first one in which we see the creature.The werewolf is chasing a man through a subway station in the London Underground and up until this point we have only really seen cheap werewolf POV shots so we might be assuming this is one of those movies that doesn’t give you a real look at the monster.Anyway, this man has been chased through the station and stumbles upon an escalator.He falls dropping all of his things and is being carried up.Once he is at the top we get a near POV shot of his position.It is a long shot from the top of the escalator.It has a very objective feel almost like a security camera.The shot goes for a bit and then the monster simply steps into the frame.It’s fast but a great shot and very creepy.
SEQUELS
And unrelated sequel called An American Werewolf in Paris.
DVD AVAILABILITY
Widely available.
SEE ALSO
The Howling
TRAILER
Patrick Garone www.patrickgarone.com twitter.com/patrickgarone facebook.com/cityofthegodsnovel
Former Arkansas governor and possible 2012 presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has made a career out of being the smiling, friendly face of the GOP's right wing. He's very likable, plays the bass, and has even been a frequent guest on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. He's the Mr. Congeniality of the Republican Party. He's even gone so far as to praise the Obamas and refute Birtherism, that extreme wing of the Republican/Tea Party that insists that President Obama was not born in this country.
This week, however, Huckabee factually inaccurate and ridiculous statements about the President that highlight the nativistic and nationalistic thinking that has been behind the vehement resistance to President Obama from the beginning. In a radio interview, Huckabee questioned Barack Obama's "worldview" because he "grew up" in Kenya. This was not merely a slip since he actually repeated it a short time later. The fact is, Barack Obama grew up in Hawaii but spent five years in Indonesia as a boy when his mother remarried. His father was from Kenya but was absent from Obama's life for his entire childhood.
When challenged on this, Huckabee acknowledged his factual mistake but dug into his larger point, that Obama "grew up" in a Muslim country and, thus, has a "different worldview" from the rest of us who "grew up going to Boy Scout meetings and, you know, our communities were filled with Rotary Clubs." In these statements, Huckabee reveals a very narrow and widely shared misconception of the American experience. It is as though the majority of conservatives in this country subscribe to a mass "Pleasantville" delusion in which the archetypal 1950's suburban or small town existence somehow represents the majority of Americans. It does not and likely never did.
Among the many barriers broken by the election of Barack Obama as our 43rd President, was that he was the son of an immigrant (at least a temporary one). This fact has proven to be disturbing to a lot of people who constantly feel the need to question his Americanness, as Mr. Huckabee has done. There has been a rather disgusting campaign to paint him as "exotic" and "foreign" as though being foreign and American are mutually exclusive.
I fail to see the problem with President Obama having lived overseas as a child. In fact, I find it a little disturbing that many prominent Republicans such as George W. Bush or Sarah Palin had failed to venture outside the country until well in their adult years. I would question their "worldview." It shows a small-mindedness and lack of curiosity about the world and its cultures, which is a weakness in anyone seeking to lead our country in an interdependent, globalized planet. The fact that the President of the United States is popular and has a special connection to the world's largest Muslim country is not a bad thing at all for America's interests.
Because of his father, who was a product of Kenya's first post-colonial generation, President Obama has been has been accused of holding "anti-colonial" views, as stated by Huckabee in the same interview. In 2011, is it mainstream to support the European colonialism of Africa which failed over fifty years ago? It seems to me that anti-colonialism is a fundamental part of the American experience. I don't see how one can tout the Founding Fathers and then accuse someone of being anti-colonial.
People are free to question the President's policies, as they always should. But to question his Americanness is a slap in the face to everyone who has come here for a better life and embraced America. It says to their children that they are second class citizens who, although they may qualify on paper, will never be good enough to lead this country. As it has periodically in our history, xenophobia and nativism raise their ugly heads in American discourse. The difference is that they now target our President.
Patrick Garone www.patrickgarone.com twitter.com/patrickgarone facebook.com/cityofthegodsnovel
I'm not a conservative by any stretch and the noisy and ignorant element of the Tea Party movement and their subsequent co-opting by the Republican Party had led me to dismiss the movement as a politically immature knee-jerk reaction to Barack Obama but I am happy to say that they seem to be bucking the Washington Republican establishment. On at least two separate occasions they have thrown a monkey wrench in the works of Speaker Boehner's plans by sticking to Libertarian ideals: voting against the renewal of the Patriot Act and, this week, voting to cut out a big piece of military pork spending in the budget in the form of a new and unneeded jet engine. They seem unafraid to speak some difficult truths, such as when Tea Party aligned U. S. Senator Rand Paul questioned the amount of foreign aid given to countries such as Israel, when the national debt is as high as it is.
While I don't really have much policy agreement with them, it is heartening to see power gravitating away from entrenched incumbents and into new representatives who seem to want to genuinely do what they think is best for their constituents and to challenge the status quo, even when it goes against their party. In the case of voting against the new jet engine, these new reps actually sided with the Obama administration. Strange bedfellows, indeed.
However misguided the Tea Party can appear, they do seem to be truly focused on debt reduction and hopefully this new congress will seek a serious and non partisan approach to the problem. I hope that they realize that they weren't sent to Washington to represent the Republican Party, but the American people. We face serious problems and it is time to put politics aside and to start governing.
Patrick Garone www.patrickgarone.com twitter.com/patrickgarone facebook.com/cityofthegodsnovel
SON OF KONG (1933) Director: Ernest B. Schoedsack Genre: Jungle Adventure
THE MOVIE
The original King Kong is such a well-known classic that it is often surprising to people to learn that it actually had a sequel which was released later the same year. Son of Kong is nowhere near as good of a movie as its predecessor but it is an interesting artifact from a movie industry that was relatively unsophisticated when it came to marketing and building "franchises" based on popular movies. There is something almost tentative about Son of Kong, as it really is an early attempt at a sequel. It is almost as thought the filmmakers weren't sure how or if they should even be doing a follow up to the massive hit that was Kong.
In the aftermath of Kong's New York rampage, promoter Carl Denham is rightly blamed for the destruction and is being sued by numerous parties for bringing Kong to the city. Denham takes off on a business venture with Captain Englehorn. Ultimately these two returning characters hook up with a couple of new characters (including a female stowaway) and end up chasing treasure on Skull Island, the creature infested "Lost World" where they first encountered King Kong. It turns out there is another giant gorilla on the island, this time a juvenile albino and the titular Son of Kong.
After many close calls and the discovery of the lost treasure of Skull Island, our heroes escape with the help of Kong as the island collapses on itself during a violent earthquake. The son of Kong dies heroically while saving Carl Denham, in a bitterly ironic ending. Although, Kong movies are not known for their happy resolutions.
The movie is an interesting time capsule, with its references to "the war" and its pre-Cold War references to socialism. Halfway through the movie, the crew of The Venture stages a kind of worker's revolt and not only toss out their captain but his usurper as well, having decided that they were done with captains. We never find out what happens to this floating banana republic.
Carl Denham is an interesting protagonist for a movie. How much you are able to tolerate him is directly related to how much you buy into the mythology of America, which values recklessly ambitious capitalists. Back in the day, audiences might have been able to overlook the man's character flaws, but in 2011, he is a weird choice for a heroic protagonist. Before the movie even starts, he has captured and exploited a rare animal which broke loose and killed dozens of people and caused an incredible amount of property damage. At the start of this movie, he skips town to flee all of the lawsuits that he has been served with and goes seeking treasure. Finally, he causes the death of yet another giant gorilla. I mean, if anyone is the villain in this story it is Denham.
THE MONSTERS/EFFECTS
Little Kong is only about half the size of his dad and has white fur to distinguish him from his pop. He is also presented in a much more "comical" way than King Kong in a cloying son of Godzilla sort of way, since Son of Kong is on the whole a less serious movie than its predecessor. Little Kong is tasked with a lot of awkward physical comedy. This is especially discordant considering his fate at the end of the movie.
Despite his dorky moments, Little Kong does get into a couple of good fights with both a cave bear and some kind of quadrupedal carnivorous dinosaur. The stop motion animation is still handled by the great Willis O'Brien and is top notch. Both of these fights are well choreographed.
MOST MEMORABLE SEQUENCE
The end of the film is actually quite moving but, again, it is jarring due to the tone of much of the rest of the movie. All in all, Son of Kong doesn't really come together like it should.
HOME VIDEO AVAILABILITY
Available on DVD.
TRAILER
Patrick Garone www.patrickgarone.com twitter.com/patrickgarone facebook.com/cityofthegodsnovel
The next best thing to giant monster movies is giant robot movies.Especially when the giant robots can physically change themselves into various vehicles and hardware.Michael Bay’s Transformers, of course, is based on the 1980’s line of robot toys and it’s accompanying cartoons and comics in which two factions of giant alien robots land on earth and assume alternate shapes based on common earth forms to hide themselves hence the tagline “Robots in disguise.”
In this reimagining of the original Generation 1 story, the Decepticon faction is already on earth as the movie begins and searching for information regarding their missing leader Megatron, who apparently disappeared here in search of the Allspark, a cube that grants sentient life to machines.The heroic Autobots attempt to head them off.The Autobot Bumblebee assumes the form of an old Camaro and arranges to be sold to young Sam Witwicky, who is unknowingly in possession of an item that will locate the Allspark (and trying to sell it on eBay.)Bumblebee befriends Sam and introduces him to the other Autobots before both are captured by agents from a mysterious government agency called Sector Seven which is in charge of monitoring Transformer activity on earth and are actually holding both the Allspark and Megatron’s frozen body in a secure location.Meanwhile the other Decepticons learn the location and both they and the Autobots converge there for a final battle.
Why does a robot need to have teeth?
As someone who knew and loved the original Transformers cartoon as a child I have to say I was very nervous about this movie.The robot designs I had seen were decidedly different from the simple cartoon designs and liberties are taken with some of the characters and there are many omissions of classic characters (like Soundwave) in favor of original or redesigned secondary characters.That being said, having seen the movie, I am very satisfied with the result.Michael Bay’s Transformers is a kinetic action packed reimagining of the “Transformers” I know and love.
Steven Spielberg produced this movie and his influence can be felt in the touching relationship between Sam and Bumblebee, which has shades of E.T.Sam himself is actually fun to watch and is one of the most realistic depictions of a teenager I have seen on screen (he would make a perfect Peter Parker/Spiderman.)Optimus Prime (Voiced by Peter Cullen who provided his voice in the G1 cartoon) and the other Autobots are beautifully brought to life and their transformations are very cool to watch often complete with the trademark sound effect you may remember from the cartoons.And, of course, the movie is filled with balls-against-the-wall action like a James Cameron Terminator movie on steroids.
MONSTERS/EFFECTS:
There are about twelve different Transformers in this movie.They are all much more alien and intricate then the classic designs and are composed of thousands of small moving parts.Their faces are composed of small metal flaps and lids that move to read emotions.For example, their eyes are colored bulbs (blue for Autobots and red for Decepticons) and they have little metal lids above and below the eyes that move in a particular way to convey different emotions.It’s all fodder for slow motion BluRay viewing.
While the Autobots are well realized in the movie and are all given lines and plenty of screentime, the Decepticons do not fare as well and this is my only real gripe with the movie and probably comes from being overly familiar with the characters in the cartoon.Of the Decepticons, most of the screentime goes to Blackout (the kick-ass giant military helicopter,) Scorponok, Frenzy (the small gremlin-like robot that can turn into a boombox,) Barricade (the police car,) andtowards the end, Megatron.Starscream, Bonecrusher and Brawl show up later and are relegated to cameo roles.You never really get a sense of who the Decepticons are and how they work as a group.This is a particular loss when it comes to Starscream who was always a genuinely interesting character on the cartoon because ofhis constant Shakespearean power struggles with Megatron.This would have been a good and very obvious opportunity to make the Decepticons more than just hulking brutes.On the side,as a purely fanboy complaint, I wish they had gotten someone to do Starscream’s voice who sounded like the late great Chris Latta who had one of the most recognizable voices from the cartoon.His raspy high pitched voice was the essence of Starscream.
The most radically redesigned character in the movie is probably Megatron, who no longer changes into a gun to be wielded by others (thank God) and has a purely Cybertronian design as he does not assume an earth form during the course of the movie (his alternate form is a Cybertronian jet.)When he was first leaked on the net I hated his design because it is very pointy and alien and weird but I’ve grown used to it and now I quite like it (although it looks like crap in profile.)Megatron is voiced by Hugo Weaving in the movie but his voice is so electronically processed and deepenedthat I couldn’t even recognize him but that’s good because he is appropriately big and scary in this movie.
The effects through out the movie are eye-popping and hyper realistic.Bay is a big fan of using practical on set effects and explosions whenever possible and it gives Transformers a sense of realism that is missing from a lot of purely studio shot CGI effects films.
MONSTERS FEATURED
Optimus Prime- Semi truck
Bumblebee – A ’74 Camaro then a 2009 Camaro.
Jazz- Pontiac Soltice
Rachet-some sort of hummer ambulance (WTF?)
Ironhide-GMC Topkick
Megatron-Cybertronian jet
Starscream-F22 Raptor more or less like his G1 appearance
Barricade-some sort of Mustang derived police car (yeah, that’s low profile.)
Blackout-a big military helicopter
Brawn-a tank (kind of superfluous to the movie.)
Scorponok –a mechanical scorpion with no robot form
Frenzy-transforms into various small electronics
Bonecrusher-a clawed minesweeping military vehicle
There are some other “accidental transformers” as well as a pissed off Nokia phone.
HOME VIDEO AVAILABILITY
Widely available in both DVD and BluRay.
MOST MEMORABLE SEQUENCE
I loved Optimus Prime’s highway fight with Bonecrusher.So good and so like every Godzilla movie should be.
SEQUELS
Transformers Revenge of the Fallen 2009, which is about as hot a mess as you are likely to see in a big Hollywood movie.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
SEE ALSO:
Transformers: The Movie 1987
TRIVIA:
The Soundwave problem:
Blackout, Barricade and Frenzy were originally going to be called Soundwave at different times in a nod to the original iconic Decepticon who turned from a giant robot to a tiny cassette player.Barricade and Blackout both “eject” smaller Decepticons muchlike Soundwave (the Barricade action figure actually features a small Frenzy figure that can be removed from his chest a la the original cassette figures) but fan reaction to such a great departure was so intense that they changed the names (and presumably the heads.)Frenzy changes into a boombox but is only about seven feet tall and very different in character from Soundwave, so the filmmakers decided to name him after one of the robot cassette figures.
Soundwave appears in the sequel Revenge of the Fallen, in which he spends the entire movie in orbit making sweet love to a satellite.
Deep Rising (1998) Director: Stephen Sommers Genre: Survival Horror/Action
THE MOVIE:
Few movies have as solid a genre movie/B-movie pedigree as Deep Rising.It was written and directed by Steven Sommers, who would later go on to do The Mummy series and GI JOE.It featured Treat Williams (The Phantom and The Substitute 3,) Famke Jensen who, up until that time, was known for being the best Bond girl ever in Goldeneye, Anthony Heald from Silence of the Lambs, Wes Studi of Streetfighter: The Movie, Trevor Goddard (Kano in Mortal Kombat,) and Djimon Honsou, at that time best known as Horus in Stargate. So pop this movie in your DVD player knowing what to expect:Deep Rising is not an allegory for anything, it is not trying to make any particular statements about the world.It is, however, a solid monster movie.
Sommer’s movie was part of the ‘90’s wave of creature flicks that were just beginning to cash in on the digital promise of Jurassic Park.No longer were movie monsters to be encumbered by only having to use clunky rubber suits, stop motion effects, or animatronics.Finally we had a generation of movie creatures that were capable of real kinesis. These monsters could convincingly run and jump and give chase which added a new level of fun to the genre.
Deep Rising involves a plot to destroy a luxury cruise liner so that its owner (the typically slimy Anthony Heald) can cash in the insurance money.He hires a group of mercenaries to intercept and destroy the ship.The mercenaries charter the boat of the very Han Solo-esque John Finnigan (Treat Williams, who actually says “I’ve got a very bad feeling about this” at one point during the movie). When they arrive at the ship they find it deserted with the exception of a few crew members and a Sexy Jewel Thief (Famke Jensen).The survivors tell of sea monsters that have eaten the rest of the passengers.The remainder of the movie involves Finnigan and the mercenaries’ attempts to escape the tentacle monsters and get off the ship.
Roger Ebert gave this movie a very unfavorable review, referring to it as another Alien clone, which I find odd because its tone and content are totally different from Ridley Scott’s movie, which was relatively cool and humorless.Yes, it has a toothy monster in a confined space but that’s about the only similarity.I would say it actually has more in common with James Cameron’s Aliens (1986) because it features a bunch of gun-toting machomen who get their asses handed to them by monstrous forces they don’t understand.
THE MONSTER/EFFECTS:
Most of what we see of the monster are its tentacles, each one ending in a toothy maw.This creature seems to have an infinite number and length of these tentacles.This has led some to believe that there is in fact more than one monster. However, we only actually get a look at one of them in its entirety during the very cool ending of the movie and the monster is revealed to be a sort of giant Lovecraftian octopus (a Kraken, perhaps?).
MONSTERS FEATURED:
Just the one.
DVD AVAILABILITY:
Available in a plain-jane early generation Disney DVD, with practically no extra features.
MOST MEMORABLE SEQUENCE:
I don’t know about you but I’m a sucker for a good still-alive-regurgitated-victim scene.
An offer I can't refuse.
Sharktopus, attempting to jump itself.
Sharktopus came here to chew people and kick ass. And he's all out of people.
